Heathrow, 19th September
I need a change, but I don’t know what kind. Family is fine (we thank God) but we are still on shaky ground, Health is good but could be better, Love Life is inexitent and Work. Well. I thought work would offer me a bit of a break after an emotionally intense 2024 — but alas, that wasn’t the case. I’m going in circles in my career, and to be honest, I don’t even know if I want to keep pushing. The 9-to-5 pays the bills, but there’s nothing exciting about paying bills. Starting my own business? The market seems saturated, and honestly, I wouldn’t even know where to start. I thought by this age i would have this figure it out or i would be [insert all the plan we have in our head] but i am still not there, so i think.
So, what’s next? What comes next when the plan fail ?
It’s another episode of burnout, like I get quite often (it’s cyclical), but unlike previous years, I can’t seem to find a solution this time. I feel stuck, at a dead end. Deep down, I know that the changes I need to make will have to be drastic, because they’ll determine, among other things, my future in London. So yes — no pressure.
I’m craving change, but there aren’t many options in sight. So what do you do in moments like that? To answer that question, I did what I do best: I grabbed my passport and my credit card and booked a round-trip ticket to Seoul and Tokyo. Maybe by being somewhere new, blowing money that I barely have, I’ll finally find some answers to my existential questions.
It’s at the boarding gate in Terminal 4 of Heathrow Airport that it really hits me: I’m going to Seoul!
All those countless hours spent watching my favorite K-dramas have clearly influenced me — they made me want to visit the city. I can’t wait to start my days with cheerful “annyeonghaseyo”s, taste dishes bursting with flavor, get tipsy on soju, and be amazed by the beauty of the scenery.
And then panic sets in: two weeks alone in Asia for the first time, to figure out how to redirect my life — it’s quite the gamble! What if the silence becomes too heavy, like on my first solo trip? What if I can’t step out of my comfort zone?
Anyway, I’ve made sure I won’t have time to feel lonely: on the agenda are museum and palace visits, five-star restaurants, a baseball game, shopping, shopping and sopping, reading, and a bit of rest. The first time I travelled alone, my reflections were about the past and my mistakes — but this time, I have to look toward the future…
So cheers to a fabulous 2 weeks
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