I Thought I Was Lost

What I didn’t know was that my last conversation, once back in Seoul, would change my perspective completely. As I mentioned, I came back from Tokyo well rested and well fed. I was proud of myself too. Big girl doing big things—traveling to two countries on her own and not having a single crying moment! Round of applause please! 

I was still searching for my answers though. What was next for me as my initial plans failed?

Back in Seoul, I hadn’t planned anything for the last days—just some last-minute shopping and a bit of reading. So for my last accommodation I definitely spoiled myself.

The Mondrian Hotel in Itaewon is above my usual choice of hotels. It was more expensive, but for three days, and with the perks my credit card offered, it worked out great. I loved the design, the rooftop was cool, and the room was nice enough for my late nights selfies. Still, I felt out of place somehow.

On my way to the front desk, there was a lady who complimented me, though I can’t recall on what.

Sidenote, I like that- women’s ability to compliment complete strangers or simply smile at them, almost as if to say “I see you".

Anyway, we started chatting. She was well dressed, with a warm and welcoming smile. I told her I had just come back from Tokyo, so naturally her next question was, “Which country did you prefer?” From there, we talked briefly and then went on our separate ways.

The hotel offered a free drink upon arrival, and because I arrived quite late the night before, I decided to get mine on my last night. I managed to find the courage to go to the bar on my own—and the lady from the previous day was there, also alone. We started talking about life.

She was in her late forties, lived in New York, and was a columnist. It was her third time in Korea this year, as she reviews hotels for a living. 

I was internally gagging. This woman had what looked like a dream job to me. She gets paid to travel, stay in beautiful hotels, enjoy every amenity, and write about it? Where do I sign up, please? Of course, she also shared the downsides of the job, but still—I was impressed. She was classy, a go-getter, and a no-bullshit kind of woman. I remember thinking, This is the woman I want to be. 

We shared stories and joked about how women like us, unmarried, no kids, and not miserable are often perceived in a society that loves to put us in boxes. We talked about how similar our lives were, despite her being Korean-American and me being African, born and raised in Europe. She felt like a multiverse version of me: different, yet similar.

She was
A woman who is free.
A woman who loves gathering her friends around a good dinner.
A woman who enjoys deep conversations with strangers in foreign countries.
A woman who appreciates being part of a village.

That doesn’t mean she isn’t anxious about the future. But it does mean she is also walking a path that is still new for many women who look like her, or like me. And sometimes, it can feel heavy.

This is what I needed—a boost for the rest of my journey. A representation of how good life can be when you are true to yourself and enjoy every step, even the setbacks life throws at you.

She was not who I wanted to be, but who I already was.

I left that conversation a little drunk and smiling like a fool—with an invitation to visit her in New York.  

This is why I needed that trip.

I thought about all the people I spoke to during those two weeks, and throughout the year. Every conversation stayed with me. For the past couple of years, I had been so focused on “making it” that I didn’t realize I already made it. I am that woman.

I pushed myself like never before. I made myself stand tall even when I didn’t feel like it. I forced the elevation, I put myself in position. In 2025, I’ve been in rooms, places, and had conversations with people I never thought I would access.

I made it happen. My old dreams, I achieved them, and more. It was time to create new dreams and new goals. I felt lost because I had outgrown my old self and dreams that were never mine to start with.

For the first time in a long time, I stopped running and started cruising. In the middle of that process, I realised that I’ll be alright, wherever I end up.

None of us really have it all figured out—and that’s not a flaw.

We are all going to be alright.